Tranformations

I have a new friend. Well, it's really an old friend with a makeover. 

I like her waaay better now. 

My sweet husband has had her since he was little, and when we got married he painted her up for us. 

(He thought the paint was black...maybe he did it in the dark?)

(this is the before)

Well, we spent some time together and I changed a few things. 

Here is her new look...

It was a fun project. 

Now I have a new one. 

Here is a little peek. 

(Mike already starting sanding before I could get a before picture. Just take my word for it when I say this thing was in even worse shape than shown here.)

And...speaking of transformations, I loooooved conference! Best thing ever! I hope I can make some of my own transformations after hearing all of the great counsel this weekend. 

My Fairytale Life

A few weeks ago, someone made a comment that got me thinking. I was in a big group and everyone was talking about their blogs. I was a new recruit to the blogging world so I was all giddy and excited that I was surrounded by all of these avid bloggers.

Then I heard the comment, "I don't even get on anymore, because I can't stand reading about all of these fairy-tale lives that are so far-fetched."

Oh. You don't like looking at people's lives? Because I do. A lot.

So I've been thinking about all of this and wondering where the fine line is between two things: being positive and being honest.

When I went on the first date with my husband, I noticed in his 1999 Camry (that I have the pleasure of driving the majority of the time now) he had little post it notes on the dash. There were three quotes on them and they all had to do with having a positive attitude. I remember one of them said, "Positive Attitude=Positive Result, Fair Attitude=Fair Results, and Poor Attitude=Poor results." It was a quote from an Apostle, and of I'll be honest in admitting that I don't remember who it was. I try to live this way and make the decision to be positive about my life. I don't post my complaints. (and trust me I definitely have them..)

Going back to my original question, I've wondered if I portray some fairytale life that I live on my blog. I have a great life. I won't lie. And I have a wonderful husband. I couldn't even try to lie about that. He treats me with respect and love and I can't imagine happiness without him. We both really enjoy our jobs and we are blessed to have wonderful families and darling nephews as well as a niece. In all, we live pretty well.

But we have shortcomings. And I hope I never try to hide those. I wouldn't be honest if I tried to act like I don't have issues. Sometimes I'm insecure, and sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be satisfied with the size I wear, or the way my hair looks, or the clothes I stare at each morning in my closet. I care what people think about me. And I have a hard time looking at the present and being completely satisfied. Not because I'm not happy, but because I always want more.

I'd also be lying if I tried to act like I am always happy. As much as I try to choose not to, I have bad days. I cry. A lot. And sometimes over the silliest things. I get stressed. And most of the time, I can't even answer the question, "what's wrong?" because I honestly don't know. I get frustrated with people, especially at work, and I usually say my prayers before work asking the Lord to please help me to be kind to others that day. Not because just for fun, but because I know I struggle with it at times.

I've had trials. Some bigger and some small. But compared to some, not as many as I feel like I deserve. I sometimes wonder when something awful is going to happen to me, because I don't feel deserving to be blessed the way I am. Sometimes I feel fearful of what trials will come my way. Sometimes I hope that I can be a better person by my own doing, and not have to learn by struggling. But I'm sure that's not the will of Heavenly Father.

As I think about all of these things, I find something beautiful. These struggles and shortcoming make me a better person and they especially bring me humility. And even more importantly, the problems we face bring us closer to those who also share the same problems. I don't want to have perfect friends or a perfect husband, because I would compare myself, and I think we find friendship and bonds by sharing our shortcomings and our problems.

And back to being positive, I'm all about it. I have a lot of problems, but there is no reason to focus on those. I know I can be insecure, but I'm working hard on finding joy in the journey. I know I am not always as cheerful or happy as I'd like to be, but I know that my Savior brings me true joy and I'm grateful to know Him and to learn from Him. I know I will have trials, but I also know that they will be short and that I will be able to grow because of them.

And that's about all of my thoughts.

I need you now.

Warning: I am on one of those "kicks" again. This time it's a new one. I think it's a good one though. 

I just really want to make this:

I feel like my life will never be complete unless I make something just like it. 

So I am going to....

As soon as I can find a similar hutch. 

If you see one of these on the side of the street or on KSL, please let me know. I am on a hunt.

Unknown Territory

I think we are at one of those times in life where we plan and plan and plan and then suddenly there isn't anything left to plan. Get married. Check. Me graduate from college. Check. Get a job. Check.  Make it through Marriage: Year One. Check. Mike graduate from college. Check. Mike get a job in a hospital. Check.

Now what???

I am a planner. A major planner. I like to know exactly what I'll be doing in exactly how many days and I don't like the unknown. Right now is one of those unknown times. Probably the biggest in my life I've ever experienced. I think I had everything planned out perfectly until this point. A few unexpected turns were in the road most definitely, but at least I had a destination. Now I feel like we are driving off a cliff and who knows where we'll land.

I guess the good thing about all of this is that I am slowly learning to hand my life over to someone who can plan it better than I can.

I only wish He would give me some hints.

Just Because..

I love the whole idea of "just because..." 

 I especially love when I come home to this sitting on my kitchen table "just because."

(mostly because I have become quite the thrifty spender and maybe my husband feels bad)

Nonetheless, I still love it. and him. 

I also love this...

I was so glad to see all these girls. We had such a good time catching up and it was great to be together again! Post-lunch a few of us decided this should be a less rare occasion. We then discussed the possibility of allowing ourselves into the world of Bunco. It may be a little cliche but it's so fun. 

All girls.

Once a month.

Yummy food.

Catching up.

Treats of course.

and fun.

Takers anyone?

I'm serious.

If you would like to be part of our group please indicate so in the below comments. You do not have to be in this picture to participate. Also, if you are embarrassed to do so, you can email me your interest at kristin.b@aggiemail.usu.edu. We will be putting this together shortly. And don't even think it won't be a party every month.

We are trying to get an idea of what days work best for everyone too so please indicate that as well.

Thanks for your cooperation and love you all.

(p.s. if no one comments below I am going to look/feel pretty stupid so please don't hold back)

Re-Todd

I love going home. I love that my mom still lives in the house I grew up in. And while lots of things have changed pretty dramatically, I still love to be at her house where my little brother and I grew up. That's the other part I love--my little brother. He thinks I'm a goody-good and way too mushy, but he loves me and I know it. I was always the bossy sister and he was always the shy brother, or should I say student when I was the teacher, customer when I was the waitress, and one time even the client while I was the make-up artist. (It's a good thing he doesn't read this or even know what a blog is) I grew up thinking of all sorts of nick names for him. First, Toddy or Toddle or my favorite that stuck, re-Todd. My mom never liked that name. I loved it. My dad loved it too. I think Todd even loved it because it was a special name only I called him.

Todd is all grown up now. He's not really my "little" brother anymore. He's pretty big. Mostly just strong, and he's good at all sports. He loves to play sports. He doesn't love to play games. But I do and I drag him along. He has taken care of my mom when she needed a man in the house, and even though he'd never admit it, I think he'll always be a mama's boy. He has a big attitude, but it comes with the age and sometimes we can even see past it. :) He loves Mike. I know he looks up to Mike, and while Mike also falls into the "goody-good" category, I think he wants to be like Mike. I hope he does, but then again I'm biased. He's quiet. He tries not to smile when I sit on him or drag him to hang out with me and Mikey, but I know the smile is there. He's a good boy. He won't admit that either. I hope someday he will. He smells sometimes. But that comes with the age too. He's a cute boy and one of my favorites.

This is him. He's a looker huh? Well step back ladies because he's got a girl. She's a cute one too.

Here's my other looker. We have lots of fun. This was my step-sister Emma's birthday cake. It's really pretty.

We brought our Just Dance wii game and all enjoyed. 

Just Dance on Wii is very tiring. This is us after all the exertion. 

Husband Michael

Well...I've been thinking about one thing tonight and I think I can post in on account of.. I failed to post anything mushy on Valentines Day. So if you hate mushy, you should probably close out now and spare yourself the agony you will find in reading this post.

Because this post is about my husband.

I was thinking a lot tonight about myself, and I realized something. I'm a complete lunatic. Then I realized something else...my husband has never even complained about it.

I'm really not being dramatic either. I am always on some kick, whether it is a health kick, or a junk food kick, or a exercise every minute kick, or never exercise at all kick, or spend every cent I have to my name kick, or save every cent I can find around the house and on the ground kick, I ALWAYS go extreme about things. And once I get something in my head, I have to go and go and go with it until I get it out of my system. I have been like this for as long as I can remember. One example: when I was in 8th grade I decided it was time for me to have a cell phone. I asked my mom every day, probably every hour how I could earn it. I also researched it until I found the best deal with the best phone. Once I found that, I put up ads and printed off articles to post all over the fridge. I never slept until I finally got the phone. That's a dumb example, but that's how I get. Crazy.

The miraculous part about all of this is that Mike supports every stupid kick I get on. I can't remember him ever rolling his eyes at me, or shaking his head. When I tell him the brilliant ideas that I conjure up in my head, he always says, "Go for it babe." or something reassuring like that. And the other crazy thing is when I start to second guess my idea, he will always support me and tell me I can do it. Lately the crazy me has wanted to exercise every day as much as I can without killing myself. Because of this, he was there as I bought a treadmill (which does not even fit in our house) and I have been going to the gym every night. No complaints from Mikey. He just lets me be insane. I love that.

When I think about that, I think that Heavenly Father must have been preparing him from the moment he was born how to deal with a lunatic wife like me. But I'm probably the least of the things that Mike has been prepared for. The first time I met him, I thought he was so different from anyone I've met before. He seemed so special. He hasn't changed. I know he is going to do things in our lives that will be really important. I know everyone has such a special purpose on earth, and Mike will do amazing things. Hopefully I can be his side kick without interfering too much with his great works.

I could go on and on for days on this post because I get obsessed about things remember? And Mike is definitely something (really someone) I'm pretty obsessed about. There's only a few more things I wanted to write about.

The next thing I was thinking about him is that he never sleeps. Ever. He hates it. I love it. He loves me though so he lets me sleep as much as I want. But really, the boy hates sleeping. Do you want to know why? Because he thinks that he is missing out on doing things if he sleeps. So on his days off, he gets up at six. He goes running, he cleans the house, he runs any errands needed, he prepares lessons for church, he always reads his scriptures early, and he makes sure to write in his journal. What do I do on my days off? I sleep as long as possible and then I get up and go find him to cuddle 'til I wake up fully. I've gotten better since I've known Mike, but the boy can't and refuses to stand still.

Another thing is he never says no. Actually he never even has the opportunity to say no because he will always ask if he can help before anyone could ask him. He just has this love for Heavenly Father's children and will always do whatever he can to help. People are drawn to him because of this. They know his good heart before they even get to know him. This goes right back to him being put here for some special reason. When we moved into our new ward, he had to go to church alone the first week because I had to work. The next week when I went to church with him, he got a calling. He was called to the Elder's Quorum presidency. Was I surprised? No. When a new president was called and the presidency was dissolved, he got a new calling. Young men's president. Was I surprised? No. I know he will always be called by the Lord to these things because he is more than willing to do whatever the Lord, and anyone else, needs him to.  Actually he does more than what's needed. He'll always go above and beyond.

Last thing I am going to bring up about him is this. The boy doesn't ever need. He never needs anything. He is always happy with whatever he has. A lot of this has to do with his mission I think, but still. We book a cruise and I am already at the mall three months in advance because I need cute new things to wear on the cruise. Mike refuses to admit that the swim suit he owns is about 3 times too big and it really could be donated at this point. I go on my psycho health kicks and make only vegetables for dinner with a little breast of chicken, and he thinks it looks great. It's beyond my comprehension. We budget all of our money and have allowance and my allowance lasts about 3 days, while he starts paying extra on bills because he can't think of anything to use his allowance on. Is this completely amazing? Yes.

I already thought of ten more things to write but I am going to stop now. Most of you are probably already puking. And if you aren't, I've probably started your gag reflex acting up. I'm done now. Don't worry. But I will end it saying this, I'm a lucky girl. A lot of people compliment Mike to me after they meet him. I always get, "Your husband is a great guy" or "your husband is really nice" or from older women, like my mom "I'm so glad you found him, he is soooooooo cute." Well he is all of those things, and the greatest part is he is ALWAYS all of those things. I've never seen him mad or unwilling to help someone else, and I think he is pretty great. I always say he's really good at life. Because he is.