A few weeks ago, someone made a comment that got me thinking. I was in a big group and everyone was talking about their blogs. I was a new recruit to the blogging world so I was all giddy and excited that I was surrounded by all of these avid bloggers.
Then I heard the comment, "I don't even get on anymore, because I can't stand reading about all of these fairy-tale lives that are so far-fetched."
Oh. You don't like looking at people's lives? Because I do. A lot.
So I've been thinking about all of this and wondering where the fine line is between two things: being positive and being honest.
When I went on the first date with my husband, I noticed in his 1999 Camry (that I have the pleasure of driving the majority of the time now) he had little post it notes on the dash. There were three quotes on them and they all had to do with having a positive attitude. I remember one of them said, "Positive Attitude=Positive Result, Fair Attitude=Fair Results, and Poor Attitude=Poor results." It was a quote from an Apostle, and of I'll be honest in admitting that I don't remember who it was. I try to live this way and make the decision to be positive about my life. I don't post my complaints. (and trust me I definitely have them..)
Going back to my original question, I've wondered if I portray some fairytale life that I live on my blog. I have a great life. I won't lie. And I have a wonderful husband. I couldn't even try to lie about that. He treats me with respect and love and I can't imagine happiness without him. We both really enjoy our jobs and we are blessed to have wonderful families and darling nephews as well as a niece. In all, we live pretty well.
But we have shortcomings. And I hope I never try to hide those. I wouldn't be honest if I tried to act like I don't have issues. Sometimes I'm insecure, and sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be satisfied with the size I wear, or the way my hair looks, or the clothes I stare at each morning in my closet. I care what people think about me. And I have a hard time looking at the present and being completely satisfied. Not because I'm not happy, but because I always want more.
I'd also be lying if I tried to act like I am always happy. As much as I try to choose not to, I have bad days. I cry. A lot. And sometimes over the silliest things. I get stressed. And most of the time, I can't even answer the question, "what's wrong?" because I honestly don't know. I get frustrated with people, especially at work, and I usually say my prayers before work asking the Lord to please help me to be kind to others that day. Not because just for fun, but because I know I struggle with it at times.
I've had trials. Some bigger and some small. But compared to some, not as many as I feel like I deserve. I sometimes wonder when something awful is going to happen to me, because I don't feel deserving to be blessed the way I am. Sometimes I feel fearful of what trials will come my way. Sometimes I hope that I can be a better person by my own doing, and not have to learn by struggling. But I'm sure that's not the will of Heavenly Father.
As I think about all of these things, I find something beautiful. These struggles and shortcoming make me a better person and they especially bring me humility. And even more importantly, the problems we face bring us closer to those who also share the same problems. I don't want to have perfect friends or a perfect husband, because I would compare myself, and I think we find friendship and bonds by sharing our shortcomings and our problems.
And back to being positive, I'm all about it. I have a lot of problems, but there is no reason to focus on those. I know I can be insecure, but I'm working hard on finding joy in the journey. I know I am not always as cheerful or happy as I'd like to be, but I know that my Savior brings me true joy and I'm grateful to know Him and to learn from Him. I know I will have trials, but I also know that they will be short and that I will be able to grow because of them.
And that's about all of my thoughts.